It is a description which hardly needs saying but it is true all the same; Joan Rivers is sharp. I haven’t even sat down and she has already spotted my untied shoelace and advised me on the uncomfortable disposition I could find myself in if I don’t tie it up immediately.

So much for the suit. I’ll be lucky to survive the brief encounter with the veteran comedian without a dressing-down for my shabbyness.

Joan Rivers is almost beyond interviewing. She has been part of the celebrity world for so long that there is hardly a talk-show, celebrity-show or chat-show that she hasn’t appeared on or magazine cover she hasn’t adorned in some shape or form over countless decades she has been in the limelight; so astronomical is her career that it almost defies belief.

The only other living (and working) comedian who could compare would be the legendary Woody Allen (who, amazingly, is two years her junior).

Which means that when researching an interview, thinking up questions that actually matter is a lesson in contradictions. Why ask Rivers her childhood or early career when it has been documented hundreds of times before?

Instead, most of the journalists queueing up take a different tack; what do you think of Loose Women? Do you like the weather here? How was the Apprentice? What do you think of MP’s expenses?

It is a small irony that, with such a dauntingly illustrious career, the most pointless of questions seem to be the most pressing. I am as guilty as the rest of them; the words ‘Fuck Russell Crowe’ are scrawled across my notepad as a reminder to ask her about that Loose Women episode - but first Rivers has something about MP's to get off her chest.

“I think that what your MP’s are doing is hilarious,” she quips with a short chuckle. “If it was in my country and it was my politicians in the dock we would be talking about millions [of dollars] not thousands.”

We’re off.

The briefest of encounters that I have with the veteran comedian; ten minutes in the depths of the Underbelly, a giant purple cow which has found itself on the banks of the Thames, is just enough time to get an idea of her approach to comedy.

Her new show is called unplugged and uncensored but the title is disingenuous: Rivers has never been one to shy away from what she really thinks.

“I’ve never been censored. Well, not compromised if you know what I mean. I have been censored on Loose Women, and the BBC wouldn’t let me say Burkha, how ridiculous is that? But if you mean by choice then no, I haven’t.”

The Loose Women incident, where Rivers called Russell Crowe a ‘fucking shit’ live on air caused outrage. After uttering the expletive live on day-time TV, Rivers was quickly removed from the stage during a commercial break and banned from the show lest she have another chance to corrupt the innocent youth.

“It was ridiculous and hilarious,” Rivers says. “They had just shown a picture of a guy who was obviously hiding an erect penis with his hat live on TV and I get in trouble for a few swear words?”

“I found it much more disgusting to see a 55 year-old man wearing a cowboy hat holding his erect penis. But I would go on the show again, the Loose Women were great girls."

It is not only chat shows which land the veteran comedian in controversy. Recently Rivers has appeared on the American version of the reality TV show The Apprentice where she stoked a backlash from other contestants by calling a rival ‘worse than Hitler’.

“It was very lord of the flies. People got very aggressive which is why I wanted to win.” Rivers says. “But I loved the show, I was by far the oldest. I am not that computer savvy but I am very entrepreneurial, so every two or three days is a new task and I couldn’t wait."

"I took a whole month off my life, even my dogs didn’t know me."

And that is it, time up. The ten minutes are almost over but before we go I ask about the new show, what can we expect from a determindly uncensored Rivers?

“My new show talks about everything, I delve into abortion a little -my daughter [in the show] has just got a new baby from a tribe who speak in clicks. Everytime he [the child] talks the garage door opens.

“I am politically incorrect but I don’t care. 15 years ago a friend of mine said, ‘just put in blinkers and run your own race’ and if you don’t think I’m funny don’t come and see me.”

Joan Rivers was speaking at the launch of the Underbelly Southbank: a month-long celebration of comedy and the arts on London's Southbank. For full details visit underbelly.co.uk

Tim Clark

aaa

aaa

aaa

aaa

aa