A four-point plan to fix Never Mind The Buzzcocks

It's not quite in terminal decline, but it is sure going that way pretty darned quick. Here's our four-point plan to stopping the rot setting in.

 

Obvious one, this. The hosts have gradually become less and less interesting, and the show has become more about them than about music (or 'HIGNFY syndrome' as it's also known). The Lorraine Kelly episode felt like the nadir of this a couple of weeks ago, but the nadirs (nadiri?) seem to be coming so thick and fast at the moment, with stilted camera delivery, awkward banter and a reliance on Phill Jupitus to keep the show moving, that it almost seems harsh to single her out.

 

So who to cast? The guest hosts so far have been fairly uninspiring, but Simon Amstell's guest appearance in the series after Mark Lamarr left didn't really point to the show he would help craft. So what about David O'Doherty? He did a decent enough episode, and also did sterling work on the live show at Latitude. He should also be walk the line between keeping viewers who like harshness interested, and making the show his own.

 

Quite strangely the guest booking is still pretty good. A couple of weeks ago the bookers really surpassed themselves, coupling Tony Law – an out-there comedian with far too little broadcast time – and Stacey Solomon – a populist celeb who usefully happens to be damned hilarious. It's just the sort of off-the-beaten-track meets low brow collision that Buzzcocks has made great telly from for years. 

 

Lamarr had a great line in berating the worst excesses of guitar musicians; Amstell could tackle pop like no-one else. The current writers seem to think that making a joke about the Saturdays being a bit dim counts as comedy.

 

Basically I'm suggesting the writers need to be FORCED TO CONSUME all the music possible. I'm not suggesting that we need to start having jokes about Kuedo and D/R/U/G/S, but it does seem like the one way to force them to start caring about music again and start firing up the musical joke neurons that seem to have fallen utterly dormant lately.

 

While I stand by my point that guest booking is still pretty good, there's plenty of room for upping the comedian count – after all, they normally have to do the heavy lifting on the show jokewise. 8 Out of 10 Cats has proven that the current crop of young comedians can breathe fresh life into a so-so show, but Buzzcocks could have a trick up its sleeve it doesn't even realise. 

 

The last few years have seen the number of musical comedians who aren't the worst thing ever expand from 'Bill Bailey' to 'lots of people'. As mentioned above, David O'Doherty could do mainstream appeal while giving the show back a BBC Two edge (as in, he wears a cape). Frisky and Mannish are looking for a new gig. Isy Suttie has the mainstream appeal. And there's a whole host of others who could do the trick. Couldn't this be a good way to do something fresh with the show without losing the plot? 

 

(EXTRA NOTE: Jupitus and Fielding are doing a great job at keeping the show moving whenever there are weaker hosts in the chair, as well as keeping a firm lid on the show returning to the worst excesses of the Amstell years. So hurrah for them, the show would probably be sunk without them both.)

 

The attempted 'refresh' with the current series has consisted partly of a ropey sketch to open the show. This does not work. Several new rounds have been introduced and either verbose or so flimsy that there is no way to chit chat about music (see above). This also does not work.

 

We're all on board mixing the rounds up a bit, but why not resurrect some forgotten ones? Unidentifiable Lyrics was a classic round (Cathy Dennis saying 'barrel of fudge' LOL). What Have We Pixellated seems to have fallen into disuse and was never quite as used as it could have been. There's plenty of old material that could be sifted and revived.

 

So, these are our thoughts. Given the way the show's 'refreshes' have gone so far, it seems more likely that Buzzcocks' will get it's own Star Bar (obligatory Top of the Pops reference). But it's not too late yet. YET.