Secret Edinburgh: Tiernan Douieb's Penguin Parade at Edinburgh Zoo

Who likes penguins? Not the biscuits. The other ones. You know with little black jackets and the waddling.

Not the biscuits, no. You know the ones that are birds but can swim and not fly. You know? The ones from Happy Feet?

No, not the biscuits. Ok, you have a biscuit. Now let’s talk about actual penguins. 

In the corner of Edinburgh (it’s not actually the corner, but I feel that describes it better than just saying ‘that bit of Edinburgh’) is Edinburgh Zoo. Luckily someone with incentive put Edinburgh Zoo in Edinburgh, which is good news for everyone involved.

Aside from a menagerie of wee beasties and not so wee beasties and beasties that wee, Edinburgh Zoo’s most excellent of features can only be the penguin parade at 2.15 everyday.

Yes, penguins. Yes parading. No, not the biscuits. And no sadly they don’t have batons or hats or do jazz hands. Neither does one have a trumpet nor a drum. Don’t be all sad.

Yes it would be better with all of those things, but I think you’ll be surprised at just how wonderfully entertaining some tiny beaked butlers all shimmying towards you can be. Hella entertaining.

That’s how much. I used a word that isn’t even a word. 

There is a chance that due to weather the parade may not happen, but remember they are used to wet weather and ice, which makes it unlikely. It also explains why they are happy enough to parade in Edinburgh, a place that not only isn’t a stranger to such weather, but gives that weather sweets and puppies without concern from anyone else.

There is a higher chance that not all the penguins will take part. Some days they all march like a mini-army, other days just one or two scouts are sent out on recon’ while the rest hide within the barracks.

Yes it is far more enjoyable if you pretend they are all bird soldiers. Or professional dancers. Or giant weebles. It’s up to you, those are just a few of my favourites. 

So escape the hustle bustle and grab a bus to see what I think is easily always the best show in town. I will be there enjoying my day off with some nature based humour and my penguin biscuits. 

Want to know more about penguins? Visit the Edinburgh Zoo website.

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