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School For Scoundrels
- Directed by: Todd Phillips
- Starring: Jon Heder, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Stiller
- Release Date: 23 February 2007
Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder stars in this uninspired kook-fest
Oh my fucking giddy aunt. How do films like this ever get commissioned? Arguably, not everyone wants to see the film version of Uncle Vanya with Albanian subtitles, but why oh why do films like School For Scoundrels travel from the minds of morons to my precious screen?
The plot (which sees Napoleon Dynamite's Jon Heder crammed into the same role again) goes thus: geek-can't-get-girl, geek-pays-five-grand-to-be-taught-to-get-girl, man-he-pays-five-grand-to-steals-girl, geek-spends-film-trying-to-get-her-back. That's it. Oh, and the geek gets shot five times in the testicles with a paintball gun. To which everyone cheers as Heder writhes in agony.
There is nothing special, or even remotely funny about this film. Instead, it's a collection of amateurs playing pathetic bit-part roles plucked from the Ben Stiller spank bank of kooky characters. Yes, Stiller's in it, and look, he's wearing a dodgy moustache. Hilarity! Billy Bob Thornton plays the teacher who steals the girl. But casting a man more famed for his portrayal of the mentally ill is comical purely for the complete cock-up in casting.
Rehashing this geek-come-good format is nothing short of necrophilia. We continue to be tortured by the tossers in Hollywood who feel we haven't quite got the idea that the socially inept are 'funny'.
The end, or at least, my version of it, involves Heder stabbing Stiller
in the face while giving the reach around to Thornton. But sadly, that didn't
happen. Instead, you're left with a nauseatingly happy finale and your soul
in tatters. Do not even think about watching this film.
Matt Hussey
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