5 April 2007
Brand Quits Big Brother Spin-off
Lovable nincompoop Russell Brand has announced that he will not return to host the fourth series of the popular chat show Big Brother’s Big Mouth.
The programme, which made Brand a household name, seems to have become a victim of its own success. In his own words the tight-trousered one quit because; "Big Mouth has afforded me opportunities that are too exciting to turn down, so alas I can do it no more".
Brand was characteristically effusive in his praise of programme makers Channel 4 and, as always, stayed strictly on topic, only straying to make a rare and subtle reference to his past as a heroin addict: "The three years I've spent on Big Brother's Big Mouth have been an unprecedented joy," he said. "I am grateful to both Channel 4 and Endemol for boldly taking the risk an employing an ex- junky twerp to front such a lovely show."
Channel 4 is yet to announce the show’s next host. SSP can think of at least one other bearded buffoon who could fill Brand’s pointy shoes. TV funnyman Justin Lee Collins…come on down!