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3rd April 2007
Kenneth Williams’ Julius Caesar Crowned Top Punster in Sky Movies Poll
Carry On Cleo is really funny, fact.
A thousand comedy writers, performers and club owners have voted Kenneth Willliams’ "Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me" in Carry On Cleo (1964) the wittiest one-liner in film history.
The poll was taken as part of the launch of the new 24/7 comedy channel, Sky Movies Comedy.
In second place was Terry Jones’ squawking, "He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy" from Channel Four favourite, Life Of Brian (1979).
Third is my dad’s top joke ever - Robert Hays as Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious." Leslie Nielsen as Rumack: "I am serious - and don't call me Shirley." That’s from Airplane, 1980. It’s good that one.
Relegated to fourth place is a line from old-timer, Duck Soup (1933), in which Groucho proffers: "Remember you’re fighting for this woman’s honour, which is probably more than she ever did." Dated? You decide.
And fifth? It’s only from the film that launched a brand new comedy website – Annie Hall (1977). When the neurotic Alvy Singer says, "Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love" who isn’t weeping into their sodden Kleenex/sock? Tell me, who?
As a sucker for cartoons, I haven't seen the Pink Panther films, so when I heard that number six was Peter Sellers’ Inspector Clouseau asking: "Do you have a license for your minkey?" I didn’t know what to think. All I know is it’s taken from Pink Panther: The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) and is not quite as funny as Woody Allen but slightly funnier than the modern-classic that is Something About Mary ( 1998). "Mary, Is that... is that hair gel?" is one-liner number seven.
And back for the second time - Peter Sellers, but this time in Kubrick’s crazy cold war farce, Dr Strangelove(1963). "Gentlemen you can't fight in here. This is the War Room" comes in at eight.
Number nine sees hoary-haired Leslie Nielsen again but as the hapless Frank in The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!(1988). If it’s pun-tastic misogyny, you’re after, you’ve come to the right part of the list. "Nice beaver!" Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] "Thank you. I just had it stuffed."
Last but not least – okay, it is least – it’s a line from the unwatchable Carrey flick, Dumb and Dumber (1994). "When I met Mary I got that old-fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her" - Jim Carrey on Love, as Lloyd Christmas. Lovely.
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