Ross Lee

Ross Lee was recognized in Natwest three weeks ago by the large Chinese cashier behind the glass. “I’ve seen you on the television haven’t I Mr Lee?” the cashier said. Ross looked up, coyly, and nervously giggled, “You might have done yes.” The glass began to steam up as the Chinese man’s face blurred. “What was the TV show you were on?” Ross paused for a second and gently keyed in his account number. Then, checking the coast was clear, whispered into his microphone. “The Pranker? My hidden camera show on BBC3? Or Chute on CBBC? That was very popular that. I was in Balls Of Steel (but only twice), Look Around You? I was funny in that. Ross Lee’s Ghouliies on Nicklodeon? (Which was actually nominated for a BAFTA). Perhaps it was The Slammer? Or Gaggin For It? I was in Saxondale very briefly in a pink jumper?”

 

Ross looked down, swallowed, and ruffled his hair, before continuing. “I was in Bo Selecta. I also had my own show in the Midlands called Premiere for three years before they turned me into a puppet. I had to operate the puppet myself, and do my own voice. I did the links in the broom cupboard on CBBC over Christmas in 2008? Or was it Experimental on Channel 4? ”The Chinese man said, “No, it was before that. You were with Dani Behr and Max Beesley.” Ross dropped his wallet in surprise and hunger. “Surf Potatoes? Back in 1994? When I had ladies hair? It’s amazing that you can remember that? It’s usually Balls of Steel that people know me for, unfortunately.” But the Chinese cashier was no longer listening, he was lost in a sea of hot mist, dancing and writhing in the red smoke. And with a large bang of his gong, he was gone.

 

You can see the insane comedy of Ross Lee on BBC Three's The Pranker in this cut on YouTube, or follow him on Twitter.