Comedy news: Jay Foreman's Secret Edinburgh, getting the best view on Carlton Hill

Arthur’s Seat towers smugly over Edinburgh thinking to itself how popular and brilliant it is. But just because it’s the highest point in the city, doesn’t necessarily make it the best view. For my money, Calton Hill, its little brother about a mile to the north is a much worthier trip than Arthur’s Seat, and here’s why: 

1. Calton Hill is only a four minute walk away from the corner of Princes Street, and only about fifty steps to reach the top. So unlike AS, you can pop up there for a quickie at a moment’s notice. This makes it a perfect escape from the festival for the elderly, the tired, or the fat.

2. Calton Hill is littered with bizarre 18th Century monuments to sit on, including a canon, an observatory that looks like a telescope and three enormous useless walls with pillars that were supposed to become a temple before they ran out of money. It gives the place a wonderful air of pointlessness. 

3. You’re in the centre of the city and much closer to the sea than AS, which means you get a completely different view from every angle. To the West you can see straight down the middle of Princes Street and race buses from one end to the other, to the North all of New Town and the Firth of Forth, and to the South, something you certainly don’t get from Arthur’s Seat, Arthur’s Seat itself! You can even clearly make out silhouettes marching like lemmings to the top of Arthur’s Seat. Fools.

I go up Calton Hill as often as I can to escape from the festival, and for the awesome unrivalled sense of scale you get up there. People mill around in the streets below, and without even turning your head, you can also see the coastline you’ll recognise from the map. Pop up there if you ever need reminding how small we all are. And to make the experience all the more complete, reward yourselves when you get to the top with a cheeky doobie!

Jay Foreman will be performing his show ‘We’re Living In The Future’ at the Underbelly throughout the Edinburgh Festival Fringe from 4th-28th August. For more information and tickets see www.edfringe.com

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