Comedy news: On The Road with Keith Farnan

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In the first of a series of features where SSP interviews comedians about their travelling adventures, Keith Farnan talks about his experience at the hands of the ugly airports and the similarities between him and George Clooney.

“Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can Only be the result of a special effort”. – Douglas Adams

I should probably write this under the heading In the Air as opposed to On the road. (I won’t say Up in the Air as any attempt at a comparison to George Clooney is just sad comedic delusion bought on by too much Airport coffee) Unlike the majority of acts on the circuit in the UK, I live across the water on the southside of Dublin. Despite the fact that I am working more and more in the UK, I made a conscious decision to stay on hometurf, despite the fact that we are slowly turning into Iceland and will no doubt slide into the sea under the weight of debt.

With this decision came the need to come to terms with airports and flying.  One of the oldest jokes constantly sodomised by cartoons such as Family Guy and the like is the one which begins “Hey, what is it about Airline food…”

Of course, this is a derivation from so many road comedians in America who need to fly from gig to gig, so vast is their land and therefore all their material is based on flying. Of course, not having a gold card, I can’t possibly comment on Airline food. 

Most people who casually travel, (by this I mean less than 3 times a month) will bemoan the state of the airports they travel through, the queues, etc… but after a while, you learn the layout, the shortcuts, the tricks of a certain airport, particularly Dublin, which has the charm all of it’s own.

I mentioned Up in the Air earlier, and there were moments during that film, where I thought, god if only I was a lot cooler and more together, I could be a distant distant cousin of George Clooney, with his frequent flyer miles ( I think Aer Lingus has a scheme called “Sure, the Odd Trip for Free if you spend over 100K on flights”) I’ve actually grown to like Dublin Airport, I know the best time of day to book flights, how long it takes, and the special Departure door that nobody uses at the end of the terminal, which is as magical as Platform 9¾ in Harry Potter, when I whisk by hundreds of angry Germans queuing in the proper place.

There’s tranquillity to Dublin airport, once you get past the baggage check, as they built the airport with an eye on the booming celtic tiger. So now there are just vast empty spaces, interspersed with the odd weeping property developers reduced to flying regular flights. It’s not a pretty place, but it’s a quiet place, and I appreciate the effort they made to make the place as ugly as possible. 

Keith Farnan is set to appear at the Soho Theatre on 17th - 20th March. For more information visit: www.sohotheatre.com